


looking into space

by softlygently (lateralplosion)



Series: if i should be so bold [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Awkward First Times, F/M, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:47:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27439063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lateralplosion/pseuds/softlygently
Summary: "Renjun, god—" Jaemin says weakly, trying to catch her wrists when she straddles him, knees tight on either side of his torso. "I swear I was going to make you dinner first—"Renjun tugs her wrists out of Jaemin's grip and, after hesitating for a moment, decisively tugs her blouse up over her head. "You can make me dinner after."
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Series: if i should be so bold [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2004610
Comments: 33
Kudos: 282





	looking into space

**Author's Note:**

> sequel to [_bet on it_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27414067).

Renjun nearly drops her phone when Jaemin's message comes in, staring down at the screen with her tongue between her teeth.

_can i pick you up after my last class today?_

It's a little past two, which means Jaemin has just started his Engineering lab, to which he is not paying much attention, apparently. It's kind of sweet, thinking of Jaemin furtively trying to text her with his phone between his legs, even though this lab is one of Jaemin's core courses for his major and he definitely needs to pass to be able to graduate. Renjun's cheeks flush with heat, and she sets her phone down on her kitchen counter top, trying to steady her breathing. She's been on edge ever since Jaemin had left to go home yesterday, like all her bones had been replaced with live wires. The memory of Jaemin's confession out of nowhere had unsettled her into a ansty kind of nervousness, even though she had decidedly kissed him good-night.

 _okay_ , she texts back. _just let me know!_

Jaemin comes to get her about two hours later, and Renjun is in the middle of curling her lashes. It's almost stupid, how anxious she is for this, but Renjun puts down her eyelash curler and nods at her reflection in the mirror before going down to meet Jaemin in his car.

"Hi," Jaemin says, as soon as she gets in. Renjun gives him a shy smile, and glances down at his outfit. He's not in his usual sweats and pullover getup—instead donning a pair of chinos and a navy button down. Under normal circumstances, Renjun would have made fun of him, but he looks _good_ , and Renjun can't help the giddy smile that tugs up at the corners of her mouth at the thought that Jaemin might have dressed up for her.

"Is _that_ what you wore to lab?"

Jaemin immediately flushes, which confirms her suspicion. "Uh, maybe."

Renjun bites back a laugh, and looks down at her lap. They drive for a couple minutes in silence.

Jaemin shifts in his seat awkwardly. "Renjun—"

Renjun glances up. "Yeah?"

"Is this—" Jaemin makes a vague hand gesture. He sounds nervous, which is as unsettling as it is endearing. Jaemin is almost never nervous. "Are we—"

"Yeah—" Renjun says quietly. She swallows, and gives him a tiny smile. "Yeah, we're okay."

Jaemin exhales noisily. "You're okay with all of this?"

Renjun reaches over the console to put her hand on his leg. "I'm more than okay with it, Jaemin."

The smile that spreads across his face then is wide and genuine, and as Jaemin takes her hand, it occurs to Renjun that this smile might be her favorite.

"You can just—wait here," Jaemin says as soon as he lets her in, gesturing to his kitchen table. "I'm just going to get something really quick—"

Renjun laughs, and sits down at one of the chairs. "Okay."

Jaemin gives her a crooked grin and ducks into his bedroom. He's flustered, that much Renjun can tell, and it's sweet enough to calm some of her nerves, knowing that he's just as anxious as she is. While she waits, Renjun realizes that she's not entirely sure what was supposed to be happening. Jaemin is still in his room, so Renjun gets up to peek into the kitchen.

It's immediately obvious that Jaemin had gone grocery shopping, paper bags and plastic-covered produce sitting out on his counter. And—right by the stove—is a bottle of red wine. Renjun is completely unprepared for the surge of want that slams into her, just by the sight of that wine. Maybe it's because Jaemin most notably does _not_ drink wine, but Renjun _does_ , and the brand is her favorite. He must have gotten it just for her, and for whatever reason this sends a warm wave of need throughout her body.

Renjun swallows, her heart rate increasing, and pointedly heads into his bedroom to find Jaemin at his dresser with his back to her. She chews on her lip, so full of affection and longing, and clears her throat.

"Jaemin."

Jaemin whips around, clearly startled. Like this, she can get a full view of him, all dressed up in his nice shirt and pants, hair combed back from his face, and Jaemin is so, so handsome even when he has a stupid, confused look on his face. He's about to say something, but Renjun doesn't give him that chance, crossing his room in great, striding steps to fling her arms up around his neck and kiss him.

Jaemin staggers back with a surprised sound, clearly caught off guard, but his hands settle onto her hips as he begins to kiss her back. Renjun is so, so hot everywhere, practically pushing herself flush against his chest, one of her hands trailing down to trace the lines of his abs through his shirt, and Jaemin makes a strangled, desperate noise.

It almost physically kills her when Jaemin pulls away, every inch of his face flushed and dazed. "Renjun—"

" _I like you_ ," Renjun breathes, reaching up to get her hands in his hair and pulling his face down again for another kiss. "Jaemin—I like you so much—"

" _God_ —" Jaemin moans, almost stumbling back again, but he surges forward all the same to try to meet her mouth. "Renjun, _jesus_ —"

She's so intoxicated by the sound of him, almost drunk with how impatient it's making her feel, so she throws all of her strength into maneuvering Jaemin around by his shoulders to shove him backwards onto his bed, hardly allowing him a moment to breathe before she clambers on after him.

"Renjun, god—" Jaemin says weakly, trying to catch her wrists when she straddles him, knees tight on either side of his torso. "I _swear_ I was going to make you dinner first—"

Again, the sheer sentiment of the idea completely knocks the breath out of her, the idea that Jaemin must have been planning the evening. It's an incredibly sweet thought, but after everything that happened last night, Renjun's decided that she's had enough of waiting. Instead, she pulls her wrists out of Jaemin's grip and, after hesitating for a moment, decisively tugs her blouse up over her head. "You can make me dinner after."

Jaemin's eyes go wide and dark as he stares up at her, and Renjun blushes furiously. While she had no definitive way of knowing what would happen tonight, maybe some small part of her (okay, a large part of her) had hoped that it would eventually lead to this. Renjun might have picked one of her cuter bras for just precisely that reason, and—judging by the way Jaemin is gaping at her boobs—it had probably been the right decision.

Jaemin tries and fails several times to close his mouth, and when he looks back up at her helpless she can see that he is bright red, all the way down to the neck of his shirt. "I—Jesus christ—Renjun, I'm trying to go about this the _right_ way, please—"

"Jaemin—" Renjun begins, and she closes her eyes for a moment, biting her lip. She is probably going to regret whatever she's about to say next, but the truth is that she's so hot all over and so very taken by the way Jaemin can't take his eyes off her that she decides she doesn't really care. After all, honesty is the best policy in her book. "You just gave me the best orgasm of my life yesterday and I was up all fucking _night_ thinking about it—I think we're past doing it the right way—"

Almost immediately, Renjun feels Jaemin's cock twitch right under her thigh, and her body flushes with heat. It's not a lie—she _had_ spent a good hour before bed with her hand shoved down her panties, unable to get all the prior day's events out of her head. But even with that—even though yesterday she'd had Jaemin's face in between her legs doing inexplicable, _wonderful_ things to her, nothing else can compare to how badly she wants Jaemin right now, looking like this beneath her, pupils blown wide and hands gripping her waist.

All of a sudden, Renjun feels incredibly self-conscious. "Unless—" she whispers, hushed. "Unless you don't want to?"

Jaemin's grip tightens, and he shakes his head furiously. "No, I _want_ to—I want to, _fuck_ —"

She exhales shakily, and tugs insistently at Jaemin's button down. "Take this off."

Jaemin doesn't need telling twice, pulling his shirt off, and Renjun wastes no time in getting her hands all over him.

" _Fuck_ , Renjun—" Jaemin bites out when one of her hands travels down to cup the growing bulge in his pants, and Renjun likes that. Likes the way Jaemin sounds when he's strung out and overwhelmed, so she squeezes gently.

"Pants," she says, and feels another rush of wetness between her thighs when Jaemin's cock twitches beneath her fingers, and momentarily crawls off him.

While Jaemin's hastily reaching down to unbutton his pants, Renjun sits back, eyes landing on his night stand. "Where are your condoms?"

Jaemin goes instantly scarlet, freezing with his pants halfway down his legs. "In—in there—"

Renjun scoots over to yank the drawer open, fishing out one of the foil packets and tears it open as Jaemin haphazardly kicks his pants and briefs off his bed. She glances down for a moment, then peels off her bra and shucks her skirt.

"Oh my god," Jaemin moans, fists clenching in his bedsheets as Renjun slowly turns back to stare down at his cock, full-mast, flushed, and leaking. The condom is in her hands, but Renjun glances up to Jaemin to take in his face, the color high in his cheeks, and instead leans down to lick him.

"Fuck—" Jaemin's groans are so wonderful to her ears, and Renjun feels herself clench at just how gone he sounds. One of his hands lands heavily on her shoulder, gripping tightly as she licks a thick stripe down to the base of his cock. "Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ , Renjun—"

Renjun wants to taste more of him, tries to take him in her mouth, but she can barely fit her mouth around the tip, and she sits back, embarrassed. Jaemin is so _big_ —big enough to have her clenching around nothing as she imagines what he would feel like, and maybe now she's changed her mind. She wants him inside of her, _now_.

Jaemin still hasn't taken his eyes off her, watching her now with bottom lip between his teeth as she rolls the condom on gently, his chest heaving, watches as she slips her thumbs into the waistband of her panties and slides them off. Then Renjun is climbing on top of him, her hands braced carefully against his chest.

Renjun glances up and makes eye contact with him, and Jaemin looks so goddamned gorgeous like this—lips parted and breathing heavily—and she wants so badly to say something to him. Wants to break that heavy, heavy silence between them as she lifts herself up gingerly into position, but neither of them can say a single word, both of them holding their breaths as Renjun lines herself up, then slowly, slowly sinks down onto his cock.

A low whine escapes her as she feels him bottom out, and Renjun opens her eyes slowly to look at him, clenching tightly at his wondrous, dazed expression. Jaemin's hands are on her hips now, and Renjun takes a deep breath, braces herself, rocks forward.

Almost immediately Jaemin swears under his breath, his eyes falling shut and long lashes casting shadows over his cheekbones. It's a delicious, intoxicating stretch, Renjun being able to feel every inch of Jaemin inside of her, and she rocks forward again, panting, trying to get more of him inside of her, _deeper_.

Jaemin feels _wonderful_ like this, and Renjun is just starting to get into a slow rhythm that hits her just right, leaning forward with a low whine to brush her lips against his collarbone, when all at once, Jaemin's grip on her waist tightens almost painfully, and he jerks his hips up with a tight groan, before going lax.

For one agonizing moment, Renjun freezes on top of him, listening to the heavy sound of Jaemin's breathing, and then slowly sits up. "Jaemin…" she says slowly, disbelieving.

"Oh my god," Jaemin moans, reaching up to drag his hands over his face. He is bright red all over, flushed all the way down to his chest. "Oh my god, _don't_ —"

Renjun's head spins wildly, her hands clenching into white-knuckled fists on Jaemin's torso. "I—I thought you said this doesn't usually happen—" she hisses. She doesn't mean to sound so upset, but Renjun genuinely cannot believe this is happening to her. It had been going so well, Jaemin had felt so amazing inside of her, and Renjun had just wanted this to work, so _badly_.

"It _doesn't_ , okay?" Jaemin sounds one hundred percent miserable from behind his hands, and he finally pulls them away from his face. His expression is equal parts stricken and apologetic. "You're just—a _lot_ —"

Renjun dips her head for a second, biting her lip and trying to steady her breathing. Okay, so it's kind of a compliment, she knows. But even still, she can feel Jaemin inside of her, softening slowly, and she's still so turned on she could cry. It isn't fair. "Okay, well," she says stiffly, trying to keep the tremble out of her words. "What now?"

"Renjun," Jaemin mumbles, sounding strangely grave. "I need you to get off of me."

Renjun's head snaps up, mildly horrified, and meets Jaemin's completely serious expression head on. "What?" Now Renjun's fairly certain she _will_ cry. This was not how her evening was supposed to go, and Jaemin is still staring at her desperately like he'll die if she didn't move. Renjun swallows over a lump in her throat. "Oh—okay, sorry—"

Jaemin must be able to hear the quaver in her voice, because he reaches for her hand as she clambers off him, squeezing it awkwardly. "It's not that—" he says, strained. "I just—I need to change the condom—"

Renjun's eyes widen, and without thinking she glances down at Jaemin's dick, then back up at his face, blushing deeply. "Oh—" she squeaks. It's not as bad as she thought, and something inside her rib cage expands, makes her feel like she can breathe again. Jaemin tries to give her what he probably thinks is a reassuring smile, but his embarrassment just makes it look pained. She watches helplessly as he sits up and scoots awkwardly over to his bedside table, her eyes running over his back muscles, when a sudden thought occurs to her. "Wait, Jaemin, but what about—will you be able to—"

Jaemin turns around to give her a questioning look, and flushes a deep scarlet when he sees her staring down at his groin.

"Renjun, I _promise_ you," he bites out, turning so she can't see what he's doing. "I _don't_ think that will be an issue here, just—just give me a minute—"

Renjun flushes at that, at what's being implied, but pulls her knees self-consciously up to her chest, the only sound now the quiet crinkling of a new condom wrapper. The silence is thick and awkward, and Renjun rests her forehead on her knees, trying to will away her blazing fire in her belly.

"God—" Jaemin's voice comes, after about a minute. He sounds utterly defeated. "I feel like such a loser."

A deep swell of tenderness crests inside of Renjun, and she can't help but smile apologetically, raising her head to look at him. "It's okay, Jaemin, I still like you."

Jaemin freezes, turning back around to stare at her. Renjun holds her breath at the way his eyes just travel over her face, open and trusting, the way the tension in his expression melts away into something softer, sweeter.

Renjun bites her lip, feeling herself flush. "What?"

Jaemin shakes his head, and moves back closer. "Just—come here—"

Renjun makes her way over to him shyly, and this time when he kisses her, all of the weird awkwardness of five minutes ago is gone, and Renjun can truly breathe, can let herself get swept up in the taste of Jaemin's mouth, Jaemin kissing her slow, languid, unhurried. Renjun sighs happily as Jaemin licks sweetly into her mouth, and whines a little at the gentle touch of his fingers against her breasts, tracing lightly down around her nipples. Warmth rushes back between her legs, and Renjun tries to maneuver her way back into his lap for purchase, for anything.

Jaemin kisses his way down her jaw, curling one hand under her hips and gently tilting her backward to lie down. " _God_ ," he murmurs against the skin of her neck, voice low and so thick with want it curdles the very blood in her veins. "Renjun, I've wanted you for so long—"

Renjun makes a sound in her throat, angling her mouth for another kiss, and Jaemin obliges, both hands on her breasts now, his cock now hard again and pressing into her stomach. Renjun wants him, she wants him so badly, and when he moves his thigh between her legs she can't help her keen at how slick she is, making a mess all over him.

"Jaemin," she moans against his mouth, and tries to grind down on his leg.

Jaemin pulls away with a small, hoarse laugh, and Renjun is not above pouting.

"Hang on," he tells her, dipping his head to press his lips just between the swell of her breasts, leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses all over her chest, down her stomach. Renjun can't stop herself from whimpering, unable to take her eyes off of Jaemin as she watches him kiss all the way down to her pussy, actually shoving her knuckles into her mouth to muffle her cry when he wraps his lips around her clit and sucks. It's too much, and Renjun already knows that if he keeps this up—

" _Jaemin_ —" Renjun whines, trying to close her legs. "Jaemin, please, I can't—"

Jaemin, thankfully, does pull back, pressing a kiss to her stomach as he proceeds to slide in his fingers. "I will, I will," he promises, and Renjun can't even bother to care about how smug he sounds, all of her world narrowed down to where he's stretching her open with two fingers—not nearly as much as she needs but just enough to make Renjun feel like she's being flayed alive by how much she wants him. He's kissing her breasts again, taking one of her nipples into his mouth and gently laving against the bud with his tongue, and it's all Renjun can do to just dig her nails into his biceps and try not to lose it.

Finally, finally, Jaemin sits back and pulls out his fingers, and Renjun can feel herself trembling all over as he gently nudges her thighs apart.

"Okay?" Jaemin asks, just that one word so thick and hoarse it makes her even wetter, and Renjun nods frantically.

Maybe it's because she's on her back this time, but the slide of Jaemin's cock inside of her is far more intense than the first time, Renjun almost unable to breathe as he pushes in up to the hilt, stretching her even more, filling up and stealing all the breath from her lungs. And it's only when Jaemin starts to thrust in can she finally manage any kind of sound, a mostly-broken whimper of his name that makes Jaemin brace both hands on either side of her body and fuck in, _deep_.

Jaemin fucks her just like that, slow and deep and deliberate, her body getting pushed higher and higher up on his bed with every thrust in until he finally drags her back down and hooks a knee over his shoulder. And when he fucks in, the angle is even better than before, and she keens, throwing her head back against his sheets. It's messy, it's perfect, Jaemin's cock inside of her hitting home every single time, and he's pushed himself up over her to mouth sloppily at her neck.

Renjun whines loudly, trying to lift her hips to meet him at every beat, and Jaemin pushes both of her legs back to her chest. His thrusts are quicker now, his breath coming in loud, harsh pants until his hips stutter forward, and he comes with a strangled moan, riding out his high with quick, shallow jerks forward. Underneath him, Renjun bucks up desperately, digging her nails into his back, and cries out into his shoulder, that sweet, white-hot burn having just started to grow deep in her belly, more and more intense still.

Jaemin backs off a little bit as he comes down and instead leans forward to grind against her, and eventually reaches down to rub at her clit. His fingers are just the right amount of rough, and she's so wet that it only takes a couple of moments before Renjun comes with a cry pressed high to the back of her throat, shuddering in waves beneath him.

She's too spent to move when Jaemin's pulling out of her, content to just lie there as the world comes back to her in a dizzying rush, until Jaemin presses a kiss to her temple, and she opens her eyes.

Jaemin is still propped up over her, wearing a distinctly pleased smile. "Hey," he says, and he looks ridiculous, hair standing up from how many times she ran her fingers through it. "Just checking in."

Renjun sighs shakily, and feels a slow smile spread across her lips. "That was—incredible."

Jaemin quirks an eyebrow at her, and gently settles down, resting his arms and chin on her stomach. "Really, now," he says smugly.

Renjun rolls her eyes and gives his face a gentle push. "Ugh, you're insufferable."

Jaemin laughs softly. "How about I make you dinner?" he says, this time lying down her next to her. "As promised?"

Renjun turns over on her side to face him, and gives him a pointed look. "Will it include my favorite red wine?" She lets out a short laugh at the bewildered expression on his face.

"How'd you know?"

"I saw the bottle in your kitchen, Jaemin," she says fondly.

Jaemin rolls onto his back, dragging his hands over his face. "Christ. So much for the romantic element of surprise."

Renjun hums quietly, looking up at him. "You don't need to romance me, Jaemin. I already like you." The words surprise her just as much as they did the first time, but it's with certainty now that she can admit it. That she likes Jaemin so, so much. Maybe she always had. But she especially likes him like this, lying beside her looking breathlessly, blissfully _happy_.

Jaemin reaches down for her hand, and brings her knuckles up to his lips. "But I want to," he says gently, and that's enough for Renjun to lean over and kiss him again, letting Jaemin run his hands all the way down her sides.

They make out lazily for a couple of minutes, and then Jaemin pulls away and sits up suddenly, reaching for his phone on his nightstand.

"What are you doing?" Renjun asks, lying back down and watching him.

"I'm sending Chenle a thank you," comes Jaemin's distracted reply.

Renjun makes a face. "A thank you? For what?"

"I mean—" Jaemin looks away from his phone to waggle his eyebrows at her. "We might have never ended up here if he didn't decide to become a sex god, apparently—"

Renjun looks up at him in horror and smacks his shoulder. "Oh my god, _gross_ —Jaemin, that is my _cousin_ —"

Jaemin lets out a bark of laughter, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "I'm sorry, babe."

The endearment sends a rush of heat to her face, and Jaemin smirks at her blush.

"So I guess you like that."

Renjun flushes furiously. "Shut up. Make me dinner."

**Author's Note:**

> ahaha..... you people.............. IDEK ANYMORE 
> 
> comments are much appreciated ಥ‿ಥ 
> 
> [twt](http://twitter.com/plosionlateral) | [cc](http://curiouscat.me/wayschanged)


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